We Are What We Are

Posted by S on Dec 12, 2012 in S Posts | 1 comment

I am learning to embrace my Inner Tourist.  Or rather, my true Tourist Self is showing more and more on the outside.  And I am learning to accept it.

One of our sons is sometimes (often!) mortified at our family’s touristic appearance, loathing to travel as a fivesome in public places, and often drifting behind or away in order to distance himself from the so obviously American family. He has pleaded to return to a hotel to change shirts when he realized he and another brother were wearing matching shirts.  I get it.  I have felt his pain before.

I have spent over half my life living in tourist destinations — and I have thoroughly enjoyed being in the know, confidently winding around camera-laden crowds studying maps, priding myself in my sense of belonging in a place where others are merely visiting, and if I were to dig really deep, I’d probably find that I felt superior to the tourists visiting my city.  I love having the answers.  And I would rather drive around for hours trying to find a place on my own rather than ask someone for directions.

But being a professional tourist these months has changed my perspective.  I am confronted with layers of questions that, if you follow the trail far enough, pretty much get down to what is the meaning of life.  As we visited the Acropolis in Athens, Greece today, these questions hit me square in the face.

Why do we pretend to know where we are going?  Why do we want to look like something we are not, or to seem like we are more than we are?  What gain is it to appear we know more than we do, when we really don’t?  Why is there fear of seeming like an outsider?  Or like a human?  Basically…where is my identity?

Striving to appear better than reality is, of course, not a new concept.  Construction on the Parthenon, dedicated to the goddess Athena, began around 450 BC — 2500 years ago.  I learned today that the base of the massive structure is crowned (like a football field!) by 6 inches so that it does not appear to sag in the middle.  The 34 columns along the sides of the Parthenon are tilted slightly inward, so as not to appear to splay outward.  Each marble column was designed to bulge slightly midway up, to give the illusion that it is bearing a mighty weight.  Even the Ancient Greeks were hoping to impress someone.

Little by little, I am throwing in the towel in the battle of public perception.  We laughed hysterically in the Moroccan Sahara, wondering if anyone thought we were locals.  We stood without shame on the Acropolis, listening to the Rick Steves audiotour on my phone’s speaker.  I am happy to admit that I don’t know where I am going, but with that comes a firm confidence in Who is leading.

We are what we are.  Today, we are Tourists.