Art of Language Lesson 03 Introduction To What Works and What Doesn’t Work

LESSON 03 – Introduction to What Works and What Doesn’t Work

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NEW WORDS

W: epitome

H: etymology

E: trifle

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PART 01 – Review

In Lesson 01 – on Opening Day – we discussed WORD and PHRASE CHOICE. The writers of Closing Ceremony articles chose creative, active words and phrases to create colorful reviews.

In Lesson 02, we continued our discussion of the BUILDING BLOCKS of writing. The “Golden Fleece” author had a lot of things to describe in his passage about Jason and the feasting hall. In the end, he chose creative and active words that created a scene that was also creative and active. Plus, the passage we was ACTIVE itself, taking us WITH JASON through the scene in a descriptive way.

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PART 02 – PUTTING A FEW BLOCKS TOGETHER

Here is something that will be familiar to you:

“Overlooking the valley of Font-de-Gaume, this cave is one of the finest Paleolithic sanctuaries in the world still open to the public. It contains over two hundred polychrome paintings and engravings of bison, horses, mammoths, and reindeer. These artistic testimonies illustrate the two stylistic phases (early and middle) of the Magdalenian era (around 15,000 BC).”

What is this passage trying to accomplish?

What parts of it succeed in a creative and active way?

What parts of it DON’T succeed in a creative and active way?

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Here is the same paragraph, written in a new way:

“Overlooking the vast and expansive valley of Font-de-Gaume, this profoundly affecting cave is one of the finest, most exquisite, most well-preserved Paleolithic sanctuaries in the world still open to the people of the public. On the cold and wet walls of the cave’s inner spaces, there are over two hundred polychrome and awe-inspiring paintings and image engravings of even-toed ungulates known as bison, equus ferus known as horses, mamoths, and that ubiquitous servant of Christmas-time, the reindeer. These unforgettable artistic testimonies illustrate and depict the two stylistic phases (early and middle) of the Magdalenian era (around 15,000 BC).”

What is different about this passage?

Have the changes made the passage more creative and active or less creative and active?

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A great, optional article about the US men’s soccer team’s historic win last night in Mexico:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/grant_wahl/08/16/usa-mexico-tim-howard/index.html

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PART 03 – A FEW BUILDING BLOCKS OF YOUR OWN

At the end of our last lesson, we harvested words and phrases from the walking path near our home. (They are listed below.)

Write a paragraph as if you were writing a pamphlet entry like the one we read from Grotte de Font-de-Gaume. Use and create words and phrases that are creative and active … but make sure you avoid the kinds of things that DIDN’T WORK in the two Font-de-Gaume passages.

line

winding path

plants – trees

wheat field

dense trees

rocks – half out of the ground rocks

curvy path

dominating ivy

overgrown

clumps of trees

vast hayfield

twisted path

steep steps

fuzzy grass

uncomfortable – I think I lay down, too many rocks

cicada – heard a cicada

the beating wings of a cicada

moss

steep incline

France

small green leaves

clumps of vines

in the distance, cars

bee on a flower

slithering snake (imagined), maybe what’s on your mind

pine cones, come from trees

heard lots of things moving

twigs

some sunlight (speckles of sunlight)

shady

ivy

dead thorns

hiking path

thorns

clouds, some clouds

bugs, lots, bee, butterfly, and little bug on leaf

shady

narrow path

green

vines

wood

barbed wire

fence

post

needed to poop

yellow blaze

road

cars

cave people

patches of light

fence

feathers